Nigerians and Soccer Mathematics.

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23rd June, 2018

The Super Eagles of Nigeria yesterday made millions of Nigerians and their foreign supporters very happy by defeating Iceland by two goals to nil. Some people may not know how much such a victory means to Nigerians until they realize the fact that the Super Eagles matches are THE ONLY THING that truly unites the citizens of this country in these difficult times.

One does not need to consult a Prophet or an oracle to know that operators of Beer parlour Joints and other Relaxation Outlets must have made profits beyond their expectations last night. Unfortunately, that also means that the amount of money usually collected in various churches across the country will suffer some decrease tomorrow due to reasons ranging from a reduction in the number of worshipers to the sudden reduction in “Pocket Power” after yesterday’s “generosity” at the Beer Parlours.

Now to the original business of this post.

Yesterday’s win for Nigeria has once again renewed the possibility of the country’s qualification for the next round of the competition. I can bet you that most Nigerian soccer lovers will today be guilty of the offence of “Overuse of Calculators”.

The average Nigerian today will be carrying out calculations as to how the Super Eagles can qualify for the next round of the 2018 World Cup Competition holding in Russia.

These calculations this time around will take the following shape.

Nigeria will qualify if;

(1) The Super Eagles are able to hold Argentina to a draw in their last group match.

(2) Who says the Super Eagles cannot defeat Argentina? Even if it is by half a goal or an offside goal?

(3) If Croatia helps us by avoiding defeat against Iceland and we play a draw against Argentina.

(4) But wait o! What of if Iceland defeats Croatia by three goals to nothing while we end up playing a draw with Argentina? Can we lodge a protest against Croatia for “selling” their match to Iceland?

(5) What of the option of injuring Lionel Messi early in the game so that it can become easier for us to defeat Argentina or at least get a draw against them?

(6) What of if Brazil beat Croatia as we defeat Argentina? Ehmm, sorry, I forgot that Brazil is not in our group.

(7) Wait O! What of if we decide to pretend that Moses is injured and fly in Junior Okosa of Kano Pillars so as to improve our chances of scoring goals against Argentina?

And so on and so on.

Friends, I tell you for sure. In the next few days before the Super Eagles play against Argentina, many calculators will go to their “early graves” in the hands of Nigerian Soccer Lovers.

Let us already pray for the repose of their dear souls.

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